Saturday, November 19, 2011

I finally did it. I finally took Monica's shoes and threw them over a power line. As mentioned before, the shoes are of the Crocs brand. I spraypainted them gold, and I tied them together with fishing line. I drove to the bar where Monica and I met. The bar hosts a drum circle every month, and that's how we one of those dopey drum circles. I did this deed during a drum circle. The fuck if I know whether she was there.

I approached the entrance to the place. I was alone (obviously). People inside the place could not see me where I was standing - but people who were coming and going, of course, could see me. I didn't feel like doing this deed with people standing around watching.

I stood around the entrance smoking cigarettes and messing with my phone. Those frickn hippie drum circle types take forever to arrive and get out of their cars...and to get back into their cars and leave...with all their stuff...and they're always forgetting stuff...coming back out to their cars, "Yo, I forgot my didgeridoo."

Finally I didn't see anybody around. I tossed them once and missed, and they came down on the hood of this car, thud. (No damage.) I tossed them again and missed again, and then I realized somebody was getting in their car, just inside the gate, and they could see me if they looked over. I was like fuck it: I'm doing this. I don't give a fuck. So, on the third try, I really focused...took my time...i did my windup, kind of swung the shoes - and I tossed them. They hit the powerline in a kind of lopsided, off center way. One shoe spun and wrapped around the power line really fast, like a fuckin lasso or like Indiana Jones' whip. It zipped right around the wire and wrapped itself tight. The other shoe hung way lower and just kind of flopped down. I heard some stuff hitting the ground. Maybe it was some hardened bird shit getting shaken of the wire, I heard it hitting the grass nearby. As soon as I saw that the shoes were up there real good, I walked off to my car, down the street. I thought I heard a raised voice yelling something behind me as I walked...I couldn't tell what or who, and I didn't turn around to look. As I was walking to my car, I could hear a car coming up from behind me, and it was slowing way down. I did not look up or over. I just looked down and kept walking to my car. I think it was one of those Pontiac Vibes. The car drove by me really slowly, they must have seen what I did, and they were checking me out real hard. I was like fuckit. Whatever. I was thinking: "What are you pricks gonna do...make a citizen's arrest? Fuck off. Drive on. Nothing to see here. Go home and finger your beads."

So there were witnesses. I think I won't being going back there for a while.

So I got in my car and backed in, turned around, drove off. I ended up behind that same friggin Pontiac Vibe. I got confused, and I just wanted to get on i4 and fuck off out of there in a hurry you know. They had to get on i4 too. I didn't want to pass them or pull up beside them so I stayed behind them. I didn't want them to see my license plate. Because really, that's one of the only ways they could identify me. I didn't recognize anybody who went in or came out of the drum circle when I was waiting around to do the thing....maybe somebody could talk to somebody else and figure out that it was that quiet dude who used to come to the drum circles who nobody even knows the name of or barely talked to or liked...or...never fit in...whatever whatever times two.

I only stayed on i4 until the next exit, and then I got off.

This is what is known as bizarre behavior. I know this. I knew it before I did it.

I ain't crazy. This was an 'art project.'


  1. Interesting to see what the heart does to our minds.
    Just imagine, if she should happen to go there now or pass by. She'll think "Are those, couldn't be...mine were purple???" Perhaps she might even be wearing a replacement pair WHILE she is looking at the one's hung up on the wire. Awful abomination of footwear those damn Crocs. Either way, it's a Heart Project - not Art project. lol. You did it for you, leave the negative hung up out of reach, it's not yours to keep anymore.
    Minus 5 points for needing three tosses. Just kidding.

  2. Next time, I'll hit on the first try. Got my technique down. I'm thinking other kinds of items instead of shoes though...what do they call them? Mobiles?, hanging art pieces. The possibilities are endless!

  3. Ok, ok. 2.5 points credited for creative effort.

  4. Wait, another .5 point for use of the word "didgeridoo".