The struggle of life -- is so much of a struggle because I am makin it so! Aren't all of my problems invented - by me? I enjoy my problems too much, I think. I'm 40 years old, and I'm still trying to figure this stuff out.

So what's my problem? What are my numerous problems? Well, the biggest one lately is that the pretty women is a troublin my mind. There's one in particular who is troublin my mind real good...with her dirty text messages and teasing and taunting and insulting and haunting. I'm no longer in her prime-time...I got the Tuesday night at 11:30 slot, or Wednesday night at 10:00. It depends on how drunk she gets, and when. The weekends are reserved for her special someone...and she considers me a 'risk.' We were playing house for a good little while there...we were together like three or four or five days a week, for like ten weeks...and then that dropped off to basically...very...very infrequent drunken mistakes. Disturbances in my positively charged void. She 99% dumped me. 100% probably would have been better.

Don't get me wrong: I have moments of absolute peace...walking meditations...waiting for a screen to load...when the dragon flies hover in to greet me....when I'm outside smokin and I begin to hear every single sound there is in the whole municipality....head clear, eyes clear. Sometimes I see a very beautiful thing...I don't mean a woman, I mean a beautiful nature thing or a beautiful human gesture

I want to hang on to my stories, but the old wise women and men tell ya: Let em go! Let go of the stories in the mind. I let them go but they come back...they come stalking back or they come charging back. The stories. The stories. I gotta tell em...maybe they'll help somebody out or give somebody a couple laughs.