Sunday, October 23, 2011

M's Shoes

A couple of hours ago, I woke up thinking about that girl whose name begins with an 'M.' Then I started thinking about that ex-boyfriend of hers. I thought about those two, together. Apparently they have reconciled, and he has moved in with her. He was the guy before me, and now he's the guy after me. I always end up feeling bad when I think about her, I'll just call her M.

The last time she came to my place (she crept over here a couple weeks ago to get one last night of thrills. She was probably 'reconciled' with the dude at this point...because she was acting sneaky), she left her shoes over here, some Crocs. We were texting back and forth about the shoes. I was joking around, saying I would use them for 'inappropriate activities' know...a fetish-type thing...just jokin around like that, crazy and dirty as usual...I won't say exactly what we were joking around about, but you get the point...that thing you do when you're alone and you're horny...but in this case, her shoes would be 'involved' in this horny some way.

I was hoping she'd come back over to get her shoes....or that she'd invite return her shoes to her. But...they're just shoes... She's got like four pairs of these goddam crocs. I hate Crocs...I think they're the ugliest shoe ever invented. Everybody in Florida wears them.

I think what I am going to do is this: Crocs don't have shoe laces, right, so I am going to get some fishing line. I'm going to attach one shoe to each end of a length of fishing line. Then, I am going to toss them up on a power line. I have not decided where yet. It would be a little creepy or stalking if I did it at her apartment complex...and I don't want to fuck her up with her boyfriend...the boyfriend - she talked about him all the time, I knew this reconciliation with them was coming, "We're just having fun," she said, "There is not a future for 'us'" ...she was straight with me, but still: like a dope, I fell for her hard. Two heartbreaks in one year is two too many (wife left in January...M pretty much ended our thing in...August, I guess). So where will I toss M's shoes? I could do it outside her friend's place, where she hangs out every night, but...again...stalking...creepy behavior. I could toss em at the place where I first met her...and I think that is what I will do. She is a regular there...she attends a particular monthly event there...which I also attend... She will arrive and see some shoes on the powerline. She will recognize the shoes. She will say "Ah, damn!" I will play dumb...if she asks me...if she even talks to me, "Nah, Baby. I got your shoes at my place. Come on over and get em." And I'll sit inside quietly, not answering the door, holding back the laughs.

Before I give the shoes back to the universe though, I am going to have my 'way' with them a few more times (just kidding...or am I....?).


  1. -Shoe Ransom -
    Walk on over here baby
    I've got your kicks
    Can't say I didn't use em'
    Neither can you
    If you want to see them again
    You gotta see me
    That's the price
    Its all in what you're willing to pay
    A shoe ransom
    No laces
    But I'm gonna tie them up soon
    If I'm not satisfied